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By Lou Waite


 What is an American, really? How well do we know ourselves? Well, here are some tongue-in-cheek opinions from yours truly:

A typical American yells about balancing the national budget, then spends his last dime for down payment on a new car.

They whip the enemy nations, then turn around and give them the shirt off  their back!

They yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car that won’t go at least 125 miles per hour.

They argue that safety on the road is of urgent concern, then get mad when the government says they have to wear a seat belt! And discuss the issue with a friend on their cell phone, while driving.

Americans gripe about the high price of things they have to buy, but gripe even more about the low price of things they have to sell.

An American male may know the lineup of every baseball team in all the leagues, but not know half the words to The Star Spangled Banner!

He will criticize his wife for not running their home with the efficiency of a motel, then get mad at the motel for not operating like a home.

Americans may spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make themselves live longer, then drive way above the speed limit, on wet pavement, to make up for the time they lost!

A man will bawl out his wife for her cooking, then go on a fishing trip with  his buddies, swallow half-fried potatoes, burned fish and gritty, lake-water coffee—and think it is good!

An American farmer will work hard so he can move into town, where he can make more money, so he can move back to the farm.

An American man, when in his office, talks about baseball, football or fishing. When he is at the games or on the lake shore, he talks about his business.

An American will cuss their own government, but get fighting mad when some foreigner does it!

We in American have more to eat than any other country in the world, and more diets to keep us from eating it!

We are the most mightily ambitious people, running from morning to night trying to keep our earning power equal to our yearning power.

We are supposed to be the most civilized, Christian nation on earth. But we can’t walk the streets of our cities after dark, and some places not even in the day time.

We Americans have more experts on marriage than any other country, and also more divorces.

We highly prize our freedom of religion, but only about 20% of us attend church regularly.

Ironically, we complain about our country and our people, while most of the world is itching for what we have, and emulating what we are.

So, what is an American? Actually we are pretty nice folks, and calling us “average” is still a compliment. In a way, that stirs us in the “same melting pot!”

Which is pretty much where it all started. 

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